Where do young Koreans go for sex?

Here's the question:

I have a short question: Where do young Koreans go to have sex? I mean, they all live with their parents, right?

Short question with a long answer. I'm going to broaden the scope of the question by expanding "sex" to include all forms of hanky panky.

You are correct that Koreans tend to live with their parents until marriage. There are exceptions to that (moving to Seoul from X small/country city, divorced parents, good job, long commutes etc...) and more and more Koreans are choosing to move out, but the norm is still to stay at home, especially considering housing costs. The Grand Narrative has an excellent write-up on Flatting, Premarital Sex and Cohabitation in Korea, so check that out for sure. I can't any solid "First Age of Sex" surveys on Korea, but I did find this one.



I took the average of the East Asian countries in the survey and hit close to 18 which is just above the global average. I don't have any reasons to think that Korea is that much different than their neighbors, but I'm sure some of you Korean sociologists might be able to add some thoughts.

So, with all of these people living at home, it begs the question as to where they are going to have a little consensual fun. We know that the people in or beyond their late 20's (with money and a little courage) can simply stop by their friendly neighborhood love motel when the urge hits, but what about the rest of the youngsters? Going to a love motel is pretty suggestive, a little more pricey and if people just was a little over-the-shirt lovin', a motel might be too much.

There are options...

DVD Rooms

Judging by the name, these places seem quite innocent, but once you walk in the door and find a bed or huge bed-like couch where the standard couch used to be as little as five years ago, that innocence disappears. I can't find the link, but a few weeks ago, I saw a survey on Naver which said that the number one place for "college students to have sex for the first time" was in DVD rooms. Korea Times also has an article mirroring those results. They're cheap, sound harmless and carry less of a stigma than the love motel.

Noraebang

Like the DVD rooms, the noraebang typically offers privacy, low prices and very little shame. A young couple can go in there and sing, dance, smoke, drink and smooch as much or little as they want.

Love Motels

You all know the love motels by now. I wrote about them and Brian loves to write about them. They come fully equipped with lotions, condoms, tissues, overly fancy shower and bathing facilities and, of course, softcore Korean porn to help the shy young lovers get in the mood. While going to these places might be a bit intimidating for first-timers, the sheer seediness will take care of that apprehension. They're also pretty cheap and oftentimes have hourly rates.

The Park

Don't believe me? Go to Hangang Park late at night on the weekends. Not only will you see the sex-starved twenty-somethings snuggling all day under their blankets in plain view, but when the sun goes down, the action can get a little more heated. No, there are not people getting too wild or anything, but there certainly is something going on. The LGBT scene has got some different rules. I've talked about it a lot on Ask the Expat, but Korea Beat has a good amount on the subject as well.

I'm sure there are a whole host of other spots that I don't know about either as it changes from generation to generation. For instance, the older generation used to head to the drive-in theaters. I'm pretty sure there was no Back Seat Betty's frequenting city overlooks, but it was certainly done one way or another in Korea. Another spot that you can still find around the country is a "dabang" (다방). Many of you will know these places as a discrete place where hookers entertain their guests, but many years ago (1970-80s), these places used to be more varied and innocent. There were the ones with ladies of the night and the ones where young couples could escape from the grips of their parents, drink coffee, chat, listen to a Korean DJ and even get a little close in partitioned cubicles. The latter aspect of the dabang is not seen anymore as they have been totally taken over by the sex industry or have changed themes completely.

So, the youngsters are out there and they appear to be having some success in finding a little privacy. Did I miss any?

Gay Teachers in South Korea: Should they hide it?

Here's the question:

I've been told that people are extremely intolerant of gay people in general social situations and I could even be fired from my job because of it!!! How often does this happen and how do they "determine" whether someone is gay or not? Dress? Mannerisms? Should I leave my scarves and cigarette cut jeans (you should see them, they're FANTASTIC!) back at home? I just don't want to lose my job just because of a lack of understanding so I want to play it somewhat safe. Any advice?

Yet another LGBT-related question from our soon-to-be fellow expat, Jim. He's brought us many of the other questions featured here on Ask the Expat.

You'll find some extremely intolerant people all over the world and Korea is certainly no exception. Yet the more I think about it, I don't think Korea's relationship with homosexuality could or should be defined as "intolerant". Intolerance is what happened to Matthew Shepard and Charles Howard in the United States. Intolerance is what Poland and Lithuania did by censoring gay-related information and institutionalizing homophobia. Intolerance is executing two young gay teenagers in Iran. Korea has not seen many acts of violence committed towards homosexuals and, besides outlawing gay marriages, Korea only has one law on the books regarding homosexuality. They have tried blacklisting, but as I pointed out before, it has been largely ineffective. Korea as a society is simply too inexperienced in its PUBLIC dealings with homosexuality that a strong anti-gay culture has yet to emerge.

I'm not discounting the extreme embarrassment that some Korean parents claim to suffer through when a son or daughter comes out or even acts effeminate, but unlike much of the rest of the world, there isn't an organized anti-gay movement yet. I imagine that as the LGBT community continues to organize and mobilize, more attention will be given to them which will lead to an official opposition movement.

One thing that must be difficult for "out" Americans and other Westerners is the fact that some may have spent years coming out and fighting prejudices at home only to arrive in Korea and forced into the closet. There's a reason for this and it's not just a gay-straight thing. In Korea, people do not earn identities based on their staunch individualism. Rather, the identity is gained by following pre-determined professional, familial and societal steps.

For example, I love canoeing and kayaking. I love it and if people were describing me (pre-Korea), they would probably point to that interest before anything else. I know there's a world of difference between an activity and sexuality and I also recognize that publicly stating a love water-sports (pun intended) wouldn't be as shocking as a declaration of homosexuality, but the point is that Koreans don't identify each other by uniqueness or quirkiness. Those qualities are not as valued in Korea as say, being a good team leader or daughter-in-law is. Being unique equates to being different which equates to being strange which can lead to isolation or even alienation.

I'm not advocating that we should all act and dress like drones, but you must blend into your environment a bit more here. I'm not sure what cigarette cut jeans are, but I can tell you that wearing scarves out of season certainly won't help you blend into your surroundings. If you're teaching kids, I would recommend toning down your style while at school and around your neighborhood. You won't be doing yourself any favors walking the streets near your school in such a fashion. Students and parents will see you, tag superficial and innaccurate qualities onto your character based on preconceived ideas and identity politics. They might not see you as gay per se, but they could get concerned about your teaching abilities. Remember, perception is king. It would be wise to play it safe and tone it down in and around your school.

Mannerisms are a little trickier for Koreans to pickup on though. Remember when I said "gaydar" can be a bit off in Korea? Well, Koreans' "gaydar" for non-Koreans is essentially non-existent. The stereotypes of gay men and women are not as flaunted as they are in the West, so typical Western indicators don't raise the flags in Korea. I used to work with a gay American from Wisconsin. He was a small town boy who moved from a tiny city to San Francisco before making the trek across the pond. He had become quite involved in the LGBT culture in San Fran which, of course, is much more pronounced than most other American cities.

When he arrived here, there was no question about it, nor did he try to hide it. His adult students, however, had no idea. They thought his clothes were very fashionable (which is probably true), his hair stylish and they all found his mannerisms charming. They didn't identify those traits the same way I did. He was a very charming fellow for sure, but there was no popular perception or typified pattern for his students to connect to. I'm not saying that Koreans are clueless. It's just that many of them don't consider sexuality when evaluating character (mostly because homosexuality still remains on the fringe of Korean society).

I couldn't say how many people are fired over their sexual orientation, but I have known enough gay teachers to know they didn't have any serious problems. They kept their private life and work life separate just as everyone should do regardless of career or industry. There will be no witch hunt or anything else at work either. If you speak too openly with Korean colleagues about it then you might run into a few snags, so I caution you there as well. I know it might be hard to hide your sexual orientation and in many cases you won't have to, but at school and around your students (if they're children), I'd play it safe. You can still have a wild time on the weekends and act and dress however you please, so don't worry about that.

Do same-sex spouses qualify for F3 visas in South Korea?

Here's the question:

I have recently accepted a job in Korea and have in fact only flown in today. I am married to the most wonderful woman, who unfortunately does not have a degree. I am not bothered about her [not] working here, all I want is for her to be able to join me without leaving the country every month. Have you any ideas? I am quite desperate to have this sorted, as I can obviously not be without my partner for a year, but I also know they don't accept gay marriages?

This is a very tricky question and one that I'll have to breakdown into different parts. We're dealing with visa issues, gay marriage recognition and school tolerance of openly gay teachers in serious relationships. The problem is that so many things are totally dependant on the other and there is no real way to guarantee anything.

First of all, if you are legally married, your spouse would technically qualify for an F3 visa which is for accompanying spouses. My concern is that since gay marriage is not recognized under Korean law, your spouse would be viewed as a girlfriend or partner, rather than a "spouse". There is no way to be certain though. Immigration is never consistent, so predicting these things can be difficult. Still, you should try.

To get the F3, you will need your ARC, notarized marriage certificate, proof of employment (tax info or pay stub), copy of spouses passport and a completed Application for Confirmation of Visa Issuance. After you bring that info to immigration and get your issuance number, then your spouse will need to go to the Korean embassy with her passport, 2 passport-sized photos, aforementioned issuance number, visa fees and a completed Application for Visa. (As you mentioned, she would not be able to legally work on the F3.)

Hopefully, the immigration officer handling your case won't think twice about it since you have all of your documents in place. After all, gender shouldn't matter and since you' re married, hopefully that will be that. I'm willing to bet that very few same-sex couples apply for the F3 visa, so procedure for such a case probably won't be on the books.

The next concern I have is whether or not your school will tolerate and/or accept an openly gay teacher. Keeping sexuality and sex-related discussions out of the workplace is always advisable, but I think this case might be more difficult to avoid. Your employer will know that you're sponsoring a spouse (F3) on the visa that they are sponsoring for you (E2). They'll also know that your wife is living with you (eventhough I don't think that matters too much). If you're working in an adult institute, university and perhaps even a public school, I think you should be alright. They tend to be more open-minded, but kid hagwons are run by strong-armed mothers which, of course, tend to be a little less tolerant.

The only thing you can do at this point is get your ARC and other documents in order and start the process. I hope that there are no snags along the way, but you never know what might happen. You might get an ass of an immigration officer who doesn't "believe" in same-sex marriage or you could get the typical lazy-ass officer who will stamp the paperwork without giving it a second thought.

This case is quite interesting and I hope that you keep us posted and maybe some readers out there who have dealt with this will chime in and offer their story.

*** Update 8/6/2009 ****

I wonder, if this case does get through immigration, will it open the door for gay Koreans who wish to marry their partners?

Gay Saunas in South Korea

Here's the question:

I was told about these saunas that are like bathhouses and apparently they are everywhere in Korea. [I was told] HOT guys shower together, and rub each other in the shower. Is this true? How far EXACTLY do they go?

What's the type of legality on this, and as a foreigner with a large carriage, can I participate?

I remember reading about these places before coming to Korea and in my handbook, it referred to them as "bathhouses". Of course, bathhouses in the West are known for their popularity among gay/bi/curious cruisers, so I was a bit confused. In fact, if you type "bathhouses" into Google, the first result is a Wikipedia article on Gay Bathhouses. For the most part, the bathhouses, saunas or Jjimjilbang in Korea are, for the most part NOT cruising sites and certainly wouldn't be friendly to someone who tried to make them that way. I recommend reading Galbijims write-up on these saunas. It'll help you get a good feel for what's actually going on in these widely popular establishments.

I am not the biggest fan of the saunas in Korea. First of all, I don't like being hot for any period of time and throw that in with the high level of interest that foreign men (I can't speak for women) get when they enter these facilities, it makes for more stress than relief. However, I have a lot of friends who really enjoy it. In my experience, an overwhelming majority of the men in the saunas are older. Maybe it was the location I chose, but I didn't see many "hot guys" in there. Even if there were, it wouldn't make a difference. Cleanliness and relaxation are the goals, not sex or rubbernecking.

In fact, these places are viewed in such a non-sexual light that there was a recent television commercial innocently showing toddlers washing each other in what was supposed to be a public shower. I was shocked when I first saw it, but my Korean wife didn't think there was anything odd about it. She thought it was cute. There's also a popular Korean comedy show which takes place in a sauna. They sing, dance and play games.

There are some things that happen in Korea (just like any country) that simply don't make sense to me, but makes perfect sense to Koreans. A couple years ago, a few Korean friends and I were at a park and we saw two teenage boys massaging and rubbing each other. I assumed that they were gay and made a comment about it. My friends rejected my interpretation and claimed that the boys were helping each other relieve stress because high-school life in Korea can be very demanding. It doesn't matter why they were doing it though. The point was that many Koreans, unlike myself -an American, don't automatically assume that something is sexual or related to sexuality.

Take this for instance: I know many Koreans who semi-regularly visit the saunas with their parents and/or children and all of them routinely wash each others backs. When I first heard of people doing this, I was a little grossed out. I mean, imagining myself in such a situation with my father is almost enough to cause nausea, but it is viewed as a perfectly normal and perhaps even a bonding experience among our Korean brethren.

So, by all means go and enjoy the many saunas of the nation, but understand that nearly all of them have zero tolerance for sexual activity. If you start rubbing another man for any reason other than cleaning, I imagine a fist might be coming your way. I do think it would be a funny dare though.

Still, there are some places where you can go if you're looking for a place to cruise or find a little action. The highest concentration of LGBT bars and clubs reside in Jongno, Hongdae and Itaewon, so the gay saunas tend to be in and around those districts. Utopia Asia has a lot of information on gay culture and hotspots in Korea and they have an interesting page on gay saunas as well. Make sure to take a look at what it has to offer, but I want to use a couple comments from the site.

"Went to Mun Hwa last Sat nite around 1:30am...Man, it was full. It's a good place for people who are into older men of 30+...I had a good time. Just lie down and guys will be on you in no time. They don't play safe, so carry lube and condoms...The sauna was filthy and so were the toilets."

...and...

"If you enter Bosuk, you will feel like you are in a regular straight sauna, and it probably is...until you go to the sleeping area. You will get to see some action, although quite discreet. Normally at the 1/F sleeping area or in the hidden corner on 2/F. Just lay down and pretty soon someone will lay next to you, although I don't see how things can go far here as there are many straight people sleeping as well! BTW, no foreigners here, so you can get very spotlighted."

Two totally different takes on the scene. I'm sure after visiting a few places, one would understand the system a little bit more, but what it sounds like is that very few of the places are advertised as "Gay Saunas". As the other posters on that site mentioned, you must be discreet since there is a mix of straight men sleeping and gay/bi men cruising. You might be able to find a place with private rooms, but I think most places are going to offer public sleeping rooms which are frequently checked by staff. Again, South Korea does not have any laws against homosexuality (aside from military service), so the staff is not looking for criminals. They're just trying to keep their sauna from becoming a hotspot for such activity.

I also found it interesting that so many people claimed that Korean men didn't carry or use protection. For a nation that spends a lot of time telling its people that foreigners have AIDS, I would think that having unprotected sex in bathhouses with foreigners would be unheard of. Then again, contraception in Korea is an interesting topic unto itself.

So, ultimately, you are not going to be walking into a shower or sauna full of young, "hot guys". From what most of the comments over at Utopia said, you'll most likely be walking into a dark, quiet sleeping room full of older men that may or may not be willing to give a big foreigner a chance. Now, I'm sure there are some hidden places in Itaewon that will work just fine for you, but I think it's better to paint the sauna scene is Korea as a very non-sexual one that is for cleaning and relaxing, rather than romance and cruising.

Like my last post on gay behavior in Korea, I hope that some readers might be able to add their thoughts. They were quite valuable last time.

Gay Politicians in South Korea

Here's the question:

I started wondering what the political atmosphere in Korea is concerning gay rights. As I'm sure you know already, it is a really touchy issue here in the US of A and political candidates stance on that one thing can make or break them at the polls. So my question is: does such a political stigma exist in Korea similar to how it does in the US? If so, what happens when the political discussion shifts into that issue?

From all of your responses so far [on LGBT issues], it seems that Korea is in a bit of denial when it comes to anything gay. I might be right to guess that they don't even mention it in politics? If so, are there any "rabble rouser" politicians who are making a mark in that respect?

I'm certainly getting a lot of questions about the LGBT community in Korea and honestly, while I was aware of some facets of it, I didn't know nearly as much as I do now. For that, I say thanks.

When considering South Korean politics, you must throw out many of the highly emotional issues in America. Korea has their own set of highly emotional issues and, although there are a few that overlap, many do not. Korea has dealt with same-sex marriage and like many US states, the court refused to recognize such unions.

In 2004, the left-wing or Democratic Party in Korea (민주당) has advocated for equal rights and even ran on a similar platform picking up a few seats in parliament, but there has yet to be a single successful openly-gay candidate to win an election. That's not to say that some politicians are concerned about equality for all citizens, it's just that timing is everything in politics and considering that current President Lee Myung-bak called homosexuality "abnormal", it's safe to say that right now, LGBT rights are not at the top of the list.

If anybody has any questions, just send me an email at asktheexpat@yahoo.com or leave a comment.

Gay Koreans: Flamboyant or Straight-Laced?

Here's the question:

From personal experience with Korean (Americans) in the US, most Korean gays are well, a little flamboyant and out there. Is this generally the case with the places you mentioned? Or does being in such a conservative country kind of repress this side of them a little bit? Like I said before, Im not worried about stares or gazes, but safety. What would be the typical reaction to say a gay couple holding hands or kissing in public?

This one is a little tricky for me. I knew very few Korean-Americans when I lived in the US and know zero gay Koreans in Korea, so much of this is going to be speculation. If any readers can chime in, I would be quite grateful.

As I learned via Liz Lemon in 30 Rock, Oprah said, "You teach people how to treat you." That's true of course and I think the gay community in Korea might be the same. Koreans go to great lengths to hide their homosexuality, so people will treat it as if it was extremely odd. By hiding their homosexuality, they're teaching the rest of the community just how rare homosexuality is among Koreans. And so, you will almost never see openly gay couples on the streets of Seoul. Perhaps late at night in a gay-friendly area (Hongdae, Itaewon) you might think you see a gay couple, but you really won't be able to tell for sure. If you have what they call "gaydar" in the US, well, you'll need to upgrade because it's almost impossible to spot a gay man (let alone a couple) in Seoul. The average Korean will certainly not be able to tell. It's not uncommon to see older drunk businessmen holding hands or young high school boys massaging each other. All of those things happen in public and, in my case, I used to make sure to mention to my wife, "that's gay". Her response: "No, they're just Korean."

The concept of homosexuality, for the most part, is not the same as Western homosexuality.

From The Koreans post of homosexuality, Foreign/er Joy said...

Do the LGBT's here in Korea express their gayness the same as Western gays? For one I think they are both gay/lesbian and Korean. So being conservative about your gayness shouldn't be so shocking. It is disappointing to hear that westerners thought the Korean gay pride parade to be not the spectacle they expected.

While the more flamboyant characters do seem to be making appearances at the increasingly popular Gay Pride Parades, most of the gay men in Korea are totally protective of their sexuality. Even Chris (who took pictures of the event) blurred out the faces. Would he have done that in the West? Doubt it. He understands the culture here and does not want to be responsible for any unwanted "outings".

I can't find it now, but I remember reading a thread that was written by a gay expat who had just spent the evening in a gay sauna with a Korean guy. When the expat asked the Korean if he wanted to exchange numbers, the Korean replied, "I'm not gay." I'm not here to argue what makes someone "gay", but in Korea, protection and denial seems to be the modus operandi for many men. That said, seeing a gay Korean or interracial couple kissing on the street is something that I have never ever seen and I doubt that anyone else has seen it either, so there is no "typical" reaction that I could predict. I don't imagine it would be a violent reaction, but the deeply felt shame or "han" the Korean would most likely feel if someone saw them in public pretty much ensures that such a sight is extremely rare.

Yet, the gay clubs are filled and there are many gay Koreans dating expats, so there appears to be something else going on here. In another email, you mentioned some details which I will severely paraphrase.

Anyway things were going good between me and [name withheld], but he asked me to *** into a *** and ***** it into his ****. What the cranberries?!?!?! Are acts like this common in gay Korea? Even though I did it for [name withheld], I dont wanna do this freaky-deaky stuff all the time. SO whats the general MO with the Korean community? Freek-a-Leek or Straight Laced?

Let's go with another quote. "You are what you eat." Forgive me for the immaturity of that, but -and I do wish that someone would chime in because this is all opinion- it seems to be that race has nothing to do with how people act behind closed doors. [Name withheld] is a Korean-American and has probably been with American men before. The gay culture in America has evolved more than its Korean counterpart. He might have happened to be with some more *cough* experimental men than you, so he liked his sex a little more -ummm- unbridled. Same goes for peninsular Korean men. If they have been with only Korean men, the above act probably would not happen. However, if an individual has been with a wider range of men from more open or developed gay cultures, then he possibly could be more apt to want some *** on his ****.

I'm honestly not sure if I covered this topic too well, so let me give you some quick answers.

Are gay Koreans flamboyant? Not really.

Does being in such a conservative country kind of repress this side of them a little bit? Yes.

What would be the typical reaction to say a gay couple holding hands or kissing in public? It would not be accepting in the least which is why it really doesn't happen.

I hope I helped a little. Again, anybody want to add something?

Update 7/19/2009: Korea Beat translated an article from the Chosun Ilbo about lesbian bars in Hongdae.

If anybody has any questions, just send me an email at asktheexpat@yahoo.com or leave a comment.

Gay in South Korea: A Little Assistance

Here's the question:

Im a 23 year old who just finishing up my degree in National American University and will be moving to a place called Mok-Dong in Seoul. Do you know it? I hope its a nice area with plenty to do and kind people here also.Youve helped me so much with other issues such as weight limits for teachers and visa issues with your blog I was wondering if you could help me with one more. Im kind of looking for a little romance in the 1 year that I plan to stay. Ex-pat, I'd really like to ask you about the gay scene there. Tolerance is not an issue for me (growing up in SD- ugh!) but I know its a very conservative country. Do they have like sodomy laws like in China or Japan? And how like, forward, are Korean guys? cos some parties I went to the Asian guys just hung out in the bathroom. So thats it I wanna have a good time, but I wanna be safe. Whattya say, Ex-Pat?

Thanks a bunch

Jim K

I think I'd like to start this one out with a little excerpt from a Michael Breen article on relationships within the expat community.

"One young North American lady once told me that she and her single Western friends in Seoul felt they were ``living in a gay bar." Neither Korean nor non-Korean men, they complained, seemed interested in them."

Of course, Korea is laughably nowhere close to a gay mecca, but I thought I should frame how many relationships go in the expat community. I wouldn't claim that expats only date Koreans (gay or straight) because it's not true, but it seems like a clear majority of the relationships I see involving (male) expats are with Korean women. The gay expat community, however, is much harder to gauge. It is rare to see gay or lesbian expats openly displaying their relationship on the streets and it is even more rare to see such a thing in an interracial relationship or among gay Korean men or women. As a rule, I must refer you to The Korean's post on homosexuality in Korea. It's great. Not only does he cover some serious issues and make excellent points, but the comment board also offers a wealth of information. It's a little lengthy, but definitely worth the read.

I think being from a state like South Dakota gives you a leg-up in terms of accepting or dealing with intolerance. Maybe I'm wrong about SD, but I can only assume that you're used to a little intolerance. (I'm from Tennessee which constantly proves out conservative and intolerant they can be.) If you were from a more gay-friendly city or state, adjusting might be more of an issue, but I think you should be fine. The gay scene, while not necessarily hosting weekly pride parades, does seem to be thriving given the popular mindset that homosexuality doesn't exist in Korea or can be cured by few visits to the doctor. There are a few popular spots in Seoul with gay clubs, bars and saunas. Itaewon, Hongdae and Jungno is where most of those places can be found. On top of that, you'll be living in Mokdong which is relatively close to all three of those places. My wife and I went to a place on Itaewon's famed "Homo Hill" called "Why Not?" a few months ago and had a lot of fun. While I'm not sure how all places are or how gay Asians party, I can tell you that most of the Koreans there were not hiding in the bathroom. The dance floor was very much alive and no one was being shy.

There's an organization for gay men that's based out of Seoul called "Chingusai" or "Among Friends". They have been operating for over a decade and offer a lot of services and assistance to the community. They've got a message board where people are talking about current issues, events and even arranging meetings. This site (and this one) also offer some assistance for newcomers and it wouldn't hurt to check out this facebook group or even Craigslist.

It looks like you're more interested in the legality and safety of potential relationships rather than where to find it, so let me talk about that. In Korea, same-sex sexual activity is totally legal and there is no mention of sodomy laws anywhere that I can find. Even if there were such laws, I would assume they would be nothing more than blue laws and therefore, nothing to worry about. However, the ROK military takes a different stance as they discharge soldiers for being gay and can even charge the men involved with sexual harassment for such an act. You might also find that a few gay-content websites will be censored, blocked or filtered by the government, but those typically tend to be only Korean-run sites rather than gay-content sites in general. Legally speaking, you'll have no problem and as long as you aren't too obvious or risky, you'll have no problems socially either.

In another email, you mentioned the prevelance of Hepatitis and other STDs which is, of course, a concern for anyone. I couldn't find anything about anything about Hep in particular, but I found this study on AIDS and HIV which seems to be the most current and comprehensive of its kind. There's also a thread about STD's at Daves's that, aside from the usual snarky comments, offers a glimpse into the STD world in Korea. If you're looking for a very detailed, academic and historical look at Korea's sexual past and present, then take a look Choi Hyung-Ki's exhaustive research on the topic. It talks about everything from sexual behavior to STD's and abortion.

I think that you'll find that Korea is more accommodating that you would think. As long as you're up for an adventure, then you should find a pretty solid group out there. There are plenty of gay Koreans and expats for you to find a meaningful relationship and have a lot of fun. The bars and clubs seem to be gaining popularity and always seem to be busy. You'll be just fine.

Update October 23rd, 2009: Korea Times has a write-up on how Social Ostracism Stifles Sexual Minorities. It's an alright article.

If anybody has any questions, just send me an email at asktheexpat@yahoo.com or leave a comment

Transgender Community, Clubs and Bars in South Korea

Here's the (different) question:

Is there a large transgender population in South Korea? Are there good transgender bars?

JT

JT, huh? Hmmm, I wish it was JTT as in Jonathan Taylor Thomas because then it would make perfect sense, but then again it might actually be the boy wonder. After all, Vanilla Ice wrote into the Korea Times today, so who knows who's interested in Korea these days.

I should say that I can't tell if you are curious for personal or academic reasons, so I will try to give you as much as I can about a relatively quiet community.

Alright, rather than delving into the nuances of the LGBT culture, I will instead refer you to an excellent write up on homosexuality in Korea by Ask a Korean. As usual, he nails it down pretty well. There's also a book titled, "Gay and Lesbian Asia: Culture, Identity, Community". Pages 65-80 deal with Korea. I think it should cover the basics so I don't have to. Yes, there is a transgender culture here. However, like the gay and lesbian culture, you will find that it's either ignored, denied, pushed to the side or dismissed by the average Korean. Nonetheless, the overall LGBT has been active in recent years and some reports claim that there have been up to 70,000 Koreans who have undergone the transformation since the 1970s and while that number might paint a picture of commonality, it is still very much hidden from public.

There has been one icon of the transgender movement in Korea and her name is "Harisu" who got her name because it sounds like "Hot Issue". You can read about her bio here, a music video here and her influence here.
Now to your second question. I don't know what constitutes a "good" trans bar, but I can at least try to point you to where a few are. First of all, take a look at this page (oddly enough the url says something about friends and badminton). If you scroll down the page you'll find addresses and bar names throughout the country. I also took the liberty to do a google search for you about the well-known Transbar in Itaewon. You can click the links on the search page if you want. I am at work, so no chance there.

I wish I could offer you a bit more information (or perhaps OpenMicah, the worlds strongest expat, could offer you some first-hand insight), but I just don't have a lot on this one. To wrap it up, there is a quiet transgender community here and there are some transgender bars, so I think your curiosity, be it personal or academic, will be satisfied.

If anybody has any questions, just send me an email at asktheexpat@yahoo.com or leave a comment.