A Fellow Expat in Distress

Here's the situation:

I know the odds are pretty low, but I wanted to ask for your help. I just had my laptop stolen, and it has most of my entire life on it – I’m more than devastated. I wanted to know if you could ask around or maybe even post this information on your site, in the hopes of recovering it. I know how difficult it is to run through the police, and I’m really kind of panicking. Thanks for your help, and I understand if you can’t.

Yeah, I'm not sure the police would be able to do much. It'd probably wind up frustrating you more than anything else. Luckily, I haven't had anything stolen in my time here, but it certainly happens. The questioner is clearly stressed and I hate seeing fellow expats suffer.

Can you help?

Description:

White Macbook, 13.3 inch plastic

There are two dents on the right hand corners of the keyboard when you open it up

It was lost at Mike’s Cabin in Shinchon between the hours of 12 am and 3:15 am on Friday night-Saturday morning (March 5-6).

It was taken out of a bag against the wall next to the DJ booth. Anyone who was any information, please contact me. (k.j.derosa@gmail.com)

 Or if anyone has been through this before, perhaps you could offer some advice...

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Scapegoating and being a good tenant

Here's the question:

I think I'm a good tenant. I separate my trash and recycling and don't make much noise, but my landlord constantly gives me bad looks. Is this normal? What can I do to make the remainder of my stay in Korea (8 months) better?

This is actually a more complex question than it seems. We're dealing with more than a rude landlord here. This touches on perceptions, responsibility and scapegoating as well as plenty of other issues.

I remember when I first got to Seoul, nobody had told me about the special trash-bags I had to buy, so I threw my trash out in a normal looking black trash-bag. That bag sat and sat until one day I returned from work to find the bag of trash in front of my apartment door with a note resting on top of the now opened bag of garbage. I brought the note into school and from that I learned about the special bags. Innocent enough and I never made the mistake again.

You would think that that would have been the end of my trash-related troubles, but it was in fact just beginning and one that I have dealt with many times since. Apparently, some of the Korean tenants knew about my trash-bag incident and decided to take advantage of it. So for the next few months, I was essentially framed by them. They would dump trash out improperly and make a big mess of the recycling and when confronted by the landlord, they would simply point their finger at me. And this scapegoating still continues today. I have a dog and when I walk him, I ALWAYS bag his shit. Sometimes I even bring water along with me to clean the piss. Yet, my landlord and neighbors always assume that the poop they see on the street is from my dog. 

I shared those stories with you because the bad looks you're getting from your landlord could be because someone is blaming you for something that you didn't do. The only thing you can do is make your trash-dumping process obvious and visible and continue being a good tenant. You could also mention this to your boss. They can't change much, but it gives you the chance to defend yourself.  If the landlord sees you doing everything correctly, eventually that image is going to stick rather than the image they have in their head of the lazy, dirty or confused foreigner. 

Koreans love scapegoating, so get used to it.

The tricky part of this whole thing is how are we, the foreigners, suppose to control or change this perception? It doesn't seem fair that we should constantly have to walk on eggshells so as not to give foreigners a bad image, but at the same time we should be responsible members of the society. The cards are stacked against us on this one and there's nothing that we can really do about it. Sure, we could volunteer or lead public awareness campaigns and even if we succeed in transforming the perception of foreigners in Korea, the scapegoating will continue. We're an easy target. 

The best way to combat it is to be a decent person in public. We stick out and will attract unwanted attention; sometimes that's good and other times it's not. All I do, as a manager, is tell my new teachers not to get too aggressive when drunk. That prevents a lot of problems.

That, or your landlord is just a cunt.

Back in the ROK...R...eh...nevermind

My wife and I made it back to Korea late last night. We were originally going to spend a few days in Tokyo, but the US trip proved to be more tiring than we had anticipated. We picked up my dog at the Bau House today and are slowly unpacking and getting used to the time change. I intend on picking the blog and podcast back up this week. I'm hundreds of emails behind as it is though.

Rather than digging in with replies, I thought I'd write this up instead.

Being abroad for so long has certainly altered my perception of my own country and at times I've found myself treating Korea as if it were my own nation. Many of us have. Of course my wife, her family, my job and this blog have only contributed to that, but I still always tried to stay very connected to my culture and country despite my enthusiasm for this peninsula. This trip, however, made me realize that I am very much American and only a temporary guest in this nation and I like it that way. Sure, I'll continue to come back to Korea over the year with my wife and eventually with our kids, but I have invested so much time and energy into Korea that it allowed me to ignore so many of the wonderful parts of my very own culture. Maybe I'm getting older, more tired, or more married, but perspectives change as we come to treasure different things. And at this point in time, I treasure my wife and dog first and foremost. That focus has its own implications, some known and others not, but it does mean that this will be my final January in the country. My wife and I have decided to make the leap and make 2010 (however much of it we make it through) our last in Korea.

On our trip home, we drove a lot. I wanted to do it this way. Driving is the best way to experience any country and my wife hadn't been west of Oklahoma/Texas, so it worked for both of us.

As you can see, we drove everywhere. The black was the first trip which took us from Tulsa to the Grand Canyon, over to LA, up to San Fran before a dash through the blizzards in the Sierra Nevada's which lasted until Wichita. The red was a quick dip down to Dallas to vist a former teacher and the blue was a pop-in on some old family. It was an amazing trip that I'll detail on another blog, but I re-learned a few things about the USA that I thought I'd share.

It's...

• quiet *
• clean
• relaxing *
• peaceful *
• friendly *
• amazingly diverse *
• established *
• self-aware *
• partisan
• beautiful
• massive *
• down-to-earth *
• outgoing *
• open *
• tolerant *
• great for marriage *
• great for kids *
• great for families *
• largely inexpensive *
• not as fat as I expected

I am going to write a detailed post on the trip later, but for now, I'll let you guess what the * is for.

Expat USA Update

Well, I hope all is going well in the K-blog world and Korea in general.

My wife and I have finished our cross-country tour for now. We hit some great places and even got some solid ideas as to where we will settle when we head back to the US in 2010. Denver and San Fran are looking up, but I have a feeling that the job will dictate our location.

It's great being back and even better being here with the entire family. My wife's brother arrives today and we're all geared up for a huge family Christmas. The eggnog and bourbon have been flowing and I made sure to buy some Soju just to keep things interesting.

Have a good few days leading up to Christmas!

Why are you dick bloggers such arrogant dicks?

Here's the question:

Why are you dick bloggers such arrogant dicks? No one cares what you dicks think.

Wow. That's eloquent.

I'm not sure if this guy is serious or if he's just trying to get a response to a stupid question (I get a lot of these), but I guess I could give it a go.

First of all, I'm impressed that the word "dick" was used three times. I might need to work the word back into my vernacular, dick. I've been pretty big on "douche" for the past few years and -thanks to "Always Sunny"- I've been planning a return of the word "bozo". Soon enough, bozos.

So, this fellow thinks that us "dick bloggers" are "arrogant dicks" and that "no cares what" us "dicks think". Maybe he's directing that towards me and generalizing about the entire K-blog world or perhaps he really thinks we're all "arrogant dicks", but does this accusation hold?

Maybe...

I only have a couple ideas. Many of us opine on issues that matter to us. That's why we started our blogs and that's what we do. If we make claims or statements that irritate people, then I guess they can call us names. The fact is that many of us pay very close attention to Korean issues. We feel pretty connected to the nation in that way and perhaps that knowledge comes across as arrogance. I'm not a know-it-all. I'm constantly put in my place and educated by people through this blog, your blogs, journalists, academics, pols, my wife, my students, my friends, my parents and even my dog. There are a few things that I know to be true and the rest of it is just a stab.

I guess that some of this perceived arrogance could also come from comments we leave on other blogs. I know that I get pretty obnoxious on ROK Drop when American politics are being discussed, but for the most part I stay out of the comment boards. They tend to get nasty, snarky and offensive way too often and way too quickly.

Do we know more than non-bloggers? Nope.

Do we care more? Who knows?

Do we spend more time reading, writing and thinking about all things Korean? Probably.

Does anybody care? My 56 followers and my wife appear to and that's all I care about.

So, how about you guys, my fellow bloggers: Are you arrogant dicks?

How Do I Make My Blog Big?

Here's the question:

"...I'm not all that sure about proper netiquette in advertising a blog. Would it just cheap and lazy of me to go on other people's blogs and give a plug for my own blog? Is it better to email bloggers like yourself and see who's interested in sharing my blog with others? Or is the more etiquettely [sic] correct thing to do just to let it grow by word-of-mouth alone?"

Blogging is a time-consuming endeavor where you are either getting post ideas everywhere you go or you hit a literary wall where nothing is coming out and the blog becomes a burden. This happens to everyone. I think Brian said it best on a facebook comment on one of my notes/posts:

The thing about getting big----or getting medium, in my case---is that with a larger readership comes greater pressure to keep it up. Three posts a week becomes a post a day becomes a post for breakfast, lunch, dinner, becomes . . . and so on.

Luckily, the style of my blog doesn't require that much creativity. People ask questions and I answer them. Sometimes, there's a huge blitz of unique and interesting emails and other times, I get a handful of questions that I can answer easily or refer them to a previous post.

A couple weeks ago, GI Korea laid out what it takes to be a successful blogger and I think it's the best advice I've seen on the topic. He really nailed it on the head. Read it because I can't add much to it.

The questioner provided his blog address to me and it looks like he found a niche for himself, so hopefully he'll keep it going and stick to that theme. Although he hasn't posted more than a couple times and it's been about three weeks since his last one, check it out for yourself: Smelly Billa.

A question for K-bloggers: Is it time to organize?

Here's my personal question for you.

How many K-Bloggers are Seoul-based?

After reading a few good posts on community organizing (Chris and Rob), I got to thinking about the blogging community and how many big K-Bloggers are in Seoul. It seems that there are a lot of calls to organize, but nothing ever materializes. I figured the easiest way to get the ball rolling was to organize ourselves first. Of course, I'd like the entire K-blogging community to get involved, but focusing on Seoul-based bloggers is a little less daunting for now. Think Netroots Nation, but only in Korea.

What do you think? It seems like a good place to start, no?

Does this template hurt your eyes?

I was reading this blog the other day and my eyes started hurting. I was seeing lines after looking away from the monitor and my overall vision was essentially blurred for several minutes. I don't want that at all and since the average reader is on the site for over 4:00 minutes, I imagine that other people might be having the same problem.

So, does this template hurt your eyes?

Korean Animal Sounds or Sounds that Animals Make in the Korean Language

Here's the question:

I was wondering if you knew the sounds that animals made in Korean? Like a pig says "Oink, Oink" in English, how about Korean?

This is a fun one. I remember asking the same question to a Chinese exchange student while I was in college. I was aware of only a few animal sounds, so I had to ask my wife. Forgive the possibly inaccurate romanization. I'll also include the English for a little comparison.

Bee: boong-boong (English: bzzzz)

Bird: jek jek (tweet)

Cat: ya-ong (meow)

Chicken: gogode koko (chick chick)

Chicks: ppi-yak-ppi-yak (peep peep)

Cow: um-muuuu (moo~)

Crow: kka-ak-kka-ak (caw caw)

Dog: meong-meong (ruff ruff)

Duck: kkoyk-kkoyk (quack quack)

Frog: gae-gul gae-gul (ribbet ribbet)

Goat: um-mee~ (baaah)

Horse: hee-hing (nay)

Owl: buung-buung (hoo)

Pig: kkool-kkool (oink oink)

Sheep: mee~ (baah)

That took longer than you might think. Most of those work for me, but a few of the Korean sounds make no sense. The sound a bee makes in English is from the sound its wings make when flying at full-speed. The Korean "boong-boong" apparently is the sound their wings make when flapping slowly, but do bees flap slowly. I don't think applying logic to something like this is worth it though. I'm also not sure I've ever heard a horse say "hee-hing" and I'm certain that owls do not say "buung-buung", but then again do frogs really say "ribbet"?

If anyone has something to add (or correct), please leave it in the comments and I'll add it to the list. I thought about getting into other sounds like car horns and motorcycles, but that list might get out of hand.

If anybody has any questions, just send me an email at asktheexpat@yahoo.com or leave a comment.

Shipping things to Korea

Here's the question:

Do you have any info on shipping things to Korea? I found a resource online that says one has up to 6 months to ship household goods. But would you know how to go about it? Companies to use? Etc...

Shipping things to Korea is not really difficult at all. You have a few options and, aside from the slow boat (which takes about two months), everything should arrive within a couple weeks. There are a few companies that ship abroad, butFedex is the most efficient method and since there are Fedex's all over Korea, I would recommend using it. My parents usually ship things to me via USPS and it always arrives within 10 days in perfect condition. Shipping things to Korea is not an issue. The only thing that you want to consider is weight and time. Other than that, there should be no problems.

If anybody has any questions, just send me an email at asktheexpat@yahoo.com or leave a comment.

What's the Deal with the Scars on the Arms of Koreans?

Here's the question:

What's the deal with the scar that most Korean women have on their upper arms? Is it from a shot? Can I touch it?

Ryan C

Ha! Yeah, you can touch it, but don't get weird with it.

I think many teachers here wonder about this and since it's pretty safe to say that most of us aren't doctors or medical students, it is totally common to be curious about those scars. The scar tissue is from a shot, however, there is a lot of speculation as to which vaccine left such a mark, but after talking to students and cross-checking their stories, it has become clear that the scars are from smallpox inoculations.

Smallpox has a long history in Korea and was treated as the works of demons when first introduced to the peninsula by the Chinese in 583. It was so bad in Korea back then that only one percent of Koreans made it to adulthood without contracting the disease. Of course, the 20th century was nothing like that, but there was still a concern as new strands of the old disease started creeping up around the globe. The 1950s and 1960s saw a steep rise in cases and in 1967 the WHO estimated that more than 60% of the world's population could be threatened. Korea did not take that threat lightly and inoculated most children born from 1953 to 1990. The common type of scar that can be seen on women AND men is called a hypertrophic scar although it should be noted that the shots can also cause the more gruesome keloid scar.

The only other type of shot that was very common during the second half of the 20th century in Korea was the measles shot. However, it is very unlikely that the scars are from measles shots because in order for such scars to appear, there must be an allergic reaction and I just can't imagine that every Korean had the same reaction to the shot.

On that note, I should add that if you teach kids now, you have certainly seen the domino-like 3-by-3 pattern on most of your young students arms. That is a new type of measles inoculation being used today. Luckily, it. Luckily, traces of the shot disappear by adolescence. They started to be used a lot in the late 1990s and early 2000s as some outbreaks started to gain momentum.

Some advice for those of you with close Korean friends. Most women don't like it when their scars are pointed out, so know that you know what they are, ignore it. The men usually don't care, but it's just better to leave it alone.

If anybody has any questions, just send me an email at asktheexpat@yahoo.com or leave a comment.